20 Things I've Realized In My 20's

​Joel Younkins

It's pretty amazing, it seems like not very long ago, I was turning 20 years old. I would be getting ready for my second season as a Collegiate Football Athlete, figuring out the College Life, conceptualizing what I really wanted out of my own life, and what I would possibly do once my playing days were over.

Today, I'm the owner of a Private Training Facility, I own my own Supplement Line, I own and rent real estate, I'm happily married to the love of my life Kelly, and she gave birth to our amazing son Levi!

On July 23rd 2018, I will be turning 30...

As I look back over my 20's, I can't grasp at how much and how fast life has changed. I'm very thankful for that I feel like I was able to accomplish a lot in this period of my life, while still experiencing a lot that life has to offer. I know that in your 20's, especially in today's current culture, things can be tough and confusing for us to figure out. There's a lot to think about and moves to be made.

You might be asking yourself:
"Am I where I'm suppose to be?"
"Did I make the right career choice?"
"Should I be making more money?"
"Should I be married by now?" 

And the list can go on and on. It's easy to get caught up and compare our lives to everyone else's. 

Well, I now can basically say that I've lived it (my 20's). I've learned a lot on the fly while figuring out how to run a business and navigating through this thing called life. I've made just as many mistakes as I have had successes, if not more. I've felt completely lost at times, and I've also felt like I was on top of the world!

This isn't me saying, do what I did in my 20's, I have the blueprint for you. This is based from my experiences of what I have come to realize to be true as a man only days away from turning 30 years old. So I wanted to share this with you. Take from this what you will, especially if you find yourself in your 20's. 

Trust me, I've realized way more than 20 things. This list isn't the most important things I'd say, nor in order of importance, but just 20 of them that I think you may be relate to and help put things into perspective for yourself as you navigate through your 20's in this Lifestyle Blog Post!

1.) Hustle or Chill

• I think that if you're in your 20's, you should play one of two cards. I think that you either have found your purpose, and you go all in while responsibilities are low and you hustle to get the biggest head start that you can get. If you haven't found your purpose yet, then that is perfectly fine. Play the card of chilling and go and experience everything you want or need in order to figure out who you want to be. If you play both of these cards, I think you don't get the full benefit of either route.

2.) ​A Lot Changes In A Year

• I started doing this thing, that every New Year and Birthday (in July), I would look back at the previous year as to where I was at in life. And it would truly amaze me at how different things would be. It was the same life, just a different version and mostly better. So I then try my best to live by the standard of raising my standards every 6 months. I had seen how things evolve on their own, so I want to evolve with my own life as well! I don't know if the 30's will be the same or not, but we'll see I suppose...

3.) Find Your Purpose

• This one is kind of tricky (I already mentioned this in #1), because you may not find your true purpose in your 20's. But the goal is to be searching for it. This is your truth of who you are. Without a purpose, what are we? If we're not living our purpose or searching for it, we're lost souls. Your purpose is your path. ​

4.) Balance = Average

• So many people want to find "balance" in their life. When you look at balance in general, that means everything is even. When everything is even, it leaves very little room to tip the scales and go above and beyond average. You need to be able to tip that scale in the area that you want to excel in.  If you're searching for balance and greatness, good luck...

5.) Winners Win

• If you want win, practice winning daily. It's really that simple. I'm a coach, I've been fixated on it, fascinated by it, I've studied it, and I've practice it. When you live like a winner, you become a winner, you expect to win. Winners grind, winners are humble, winners are on time, winners keep it real, and winners win...Keep raising your standards!

6.) Few Actually Hustle

• It's funny, I swear the more people try to impress others with their mouths, the less likely they are to back it up. It's easy to talk a big game and work hard for a couple months, but hustle for a few years of your life and see if hustling is still cool. Give up friends, relationships, your health, mental wellness, and much more to see if you still like the hustling lifestyle. 

7.) You're Not Missing Out

• We call this FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out. Let people have their experiences, it's their life. You have your own life to live, so live yours. To you, your life may seem boring, but when you're doing your thing, people on the outside will probably think your life looks really cool! And keep in mind, when your friends are out at the bar drinking, and you're working on your mission, you are not missing out. You are building something that could eventually possibly impact a lot of people! 

8.) Find You, Before You Find Someone Else​

• I think we've all probably have been here at some point. We're trying to look for someone who is the right fit for us. I've learned that it's a better route for both sides if you focus on being the best you for that special someone. Bring your best to the table. When you bring your best, you'll attract the best. It's not fair to ask for the best when you're not conscious at being your best.

9.) Marry Your Best Friend 

• When you think you found that person, you actually really do know (it's hard to put words on it, but I'm going to try). They are your best friend and you'll wonder what you did without them. It's almost as if you have no choice because it makes that much sense to marry them. It shouldn't be hard or difficult to make it work, it should almost be effortless. All the effort that you need to put in, is to be at your best for that person. I haven't been married that long at all, but I can only speak from what I know right now in this moment. And this is the only way to do it if you had to ask me as of today. Life is amazing when you get to wake up next to the love of your life who just happens to be your best friend, or as my wife calls it "your person."

10.) Having Kids Is The Best Thing In The World

• I knew I always wanted kids, but I'm not going to lie, I was nervous for a long time. I think I got conditioning to people telling us growing up, that if we got a girl pregnant, that our lives would be over. In reality though, when you are "ready" (you're never actually ready) it feels like your life is just beginning. The feeling of seeing your child smile at you is hands down the best feeling in the world! 

11.) The World Doesn't Care If You Have A Family

•  The week after my son was born, I had the worst week of business that I ever had. I knew it wasn't going to crush me because I was already in a good position. But it was a long week lol...It was just a quick burst of reality and a reminder that one, I need to let important things make me happy, like my family, and not let the success of my business determine my happiness. And two, that the world doesn't care if I have a family that I need to take care of. Sure people care, but the world is different, the world doesn't care (if that doesn't make sense to you, it will one day).

12.) Misery Loves Company

• One thing is for sure, people like to share their misery. And they want you to feel the same they do. People want to relate with others. If they're miserable, they want to know you're miserable too. They know they're miserable and they also know they don't want to know they're the only ones who are miserable. The sooner you can cut these people out of your life, the faster you will not feel miserable too. That's a 100% promise!

13.) Real Problems Can't Be Calculated

• You think you have real problems in your life until you can't actually figure out how to fix it. If there is a solution that you can write out on paper or explain how to fix it, it's not really a problem. A real problem, you cannot truly understand. You just realize it is what it is and maybe only time can fix it.

14.) Be Open To The Universe

• This is something I've personally discovered in my later 20's. But I think there's this open interpretation to what the "Universe" is to all of us. I believe this is where karma happens, good and bad. It can also be a religious/spiritual thing for people. And I do believe you have to put out what you want into the Universe. And if you take action on it, the Universe will work with you on it. However, you like to think of it is up to you. But I do encourage you to try to get in touch with your Universe if you haven't done so yet!

15.) People Accept The Judgement You Place On Yourself

• I learned this from a book called Psycho-Cybernetics. However you see yourself, the world will eventually see you the same way. You act on how you perceive yourself. I don't like the phrase "fake it till you make it." People will see right through that. But I like the idea of act it until you become it. That way you are taking action on what you want. Act like the person you want to be, and soon enough, the world will except you as that person.

16.) The More You Know, The More You Realize You Don't Know​

• This is a fun one, because once you think you have something figured out, you realize there's this whole other area that you need to learn about. And to be honest, I don't see this realization changing anytime soon. I'm a work in progress just like everyone else. Even as I sit here, writing out this list of 20 Things, I realize that I don't have all of these things figured out myself.

17.) Be Comfortable Becoming Uncomfortable

• If you want to be comfortable, you'll only grow from things happening to you. If you want to actively grow as a person, challenge yourself, you need to get comfortable becoming uncomfortable. Whatever that is, the concept stays the same. You've heard this elsewhere, and I'm here reminding you that it's 100% very true. Challenge yourself, adapt to that challenge, then further challenge yourself again. Repeat to your next peak.

18.) Morals Over Everything

• One of the easiest ways to make a decision, is to rest on your own morals. To have morals, I believe you got to stand or be about something. Once you've figured that out, circle everything back to that. One thing for sure, it will keep you authentic to yourself and you'll be able to sleep at night with the decisions you make on a daily basis.

19.) Keep Going

• There are times when you feel like you're stalling out or slowing down. If you're working towards something, the best advice you can take is to just simply keep going. And when you know that you're still going and you're not seeing anything happen, go a little more, you're about to break through. Keep going! 

20.) Be A Genuine Person

• I think one of the most important lesson, if not the most important lesson I've learned, is to be a genuine person. This may sound obvious, like "did it really take you to your 20's to learn to be a good person?" No, that's not the point, but I learned that it's better to be genuine and being nice isn't going to cut it when you're character is being measured. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters. When you're on your death bed, I think people will remember your character before they remember anything you ever did.

Conclusion
Thank you for reading through this list. Like I said, this isn't everything that I've learned and realized, but these are the 20 Things that I wanted to share with you. I'm sitting here telling you that I have mastered these things myself. But they have helped me realize some concepts to get through my 20's and have given me a standard to work towards when building my character. When I'm struggling with something, I keep these things in my mind and rely on them for clarity and direction. Hopefully at least one of these will help give you some clarity and direction in an area that you may be struggling with today. 

​Until next time!

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